It's official. Today has to be the worst day of my life.
Well, as if today's horror story was not enough, the family of my girlfriend "dropped by" today to see how everyting was going. Keep in mind that they know what has happened today. Let me set up the scenario.
It's 5:00pm and I'm in my kitchen calling a few friends as I am in desperate need of alcohol. I've got five plastic wrapped men walking about my home, cleaning up scattered kitten remains, and my door is propped open due to a large tube from an ozone machine. The parents of my ex-girlfriend walk up to my patio door directly off the kitchen, which is now wide open to air out the house. The mother sticks her head into the kitchen to see if anyone was home. Now, imagine this. They know what has happened with the cat, (but apparently think the blood is from me beating or killing their daughter) and the first thing they see is me on the phone, and five guy's in plastic suits cleaning up blood. Hmmmmm.
The screaming ensues,
Her mother: "Where is my daughter?!!!! What is this? What's this? Blood?!!!
Me without thinking: "She's gone".
Her mother: "WHAT!!! WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER!!! MEGAN!!! MEGAN!!!
Her father: "WHAT THE FVCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!"............He gives me the stare.
Me: "Whoa, wait, let me explain".....
At this point, Megan's mother starts running through the house and sees all the blood my dog has flung everywhere. She's screaming like a banshee, and finally sets sight upon the office. I won't go into details here, but an Akita flinging around a bloody kitten leaves images that will not soon be forgotten.
So I'm trying to explain what has happened to the father who is half paying attention because his wife is screaming. And the phone rings. It's Megan. Great I thought!!! Now we can straighten this out. I go to answer the phone, and one of the clean up crew guys opens the door to the garage where my dog is being kept while they do the clean up. I didn't get a chance to tell them where the dog was because of the commotion with my ex's parents. So the dog hears the screaming and immediately "turns on" and charges for the office. I go running up the stairs after him throwing the phone at the father, and all of the cleaning guys bolt out the door. The mother hears the dog comming and locks herself in the bathroom.
With what did she lock herself in the bathroom you ask?
That's right, absolute, total, carnage. Right in the damn spot I found the paw. The spot where the damn cleaning guys had not been to yet. Oh, the agony.
So, she won't come out of the bathroom because there is a very excited dog, who's bark resonates in your chest outside the door. The father is yelling in my ear "get the damn dog out of here", I'm yelling at the father telling him to get the "fvck out of the room" so I can put the dog in my bedroom, and the mother is beginning to have a panic attack in the bathroom covered in blood. I finally get the dog in the bedroom, the mother unlocks the door and runs out of the house with the father following her, shaking the telephone around screaming "I have Megan on the phone, I have Megan on the phone!!! It's okay, it was the cat"!!! I followed them outside and there are the five cleaning guys and two of my neighbors watching this unfold. The mother is now in the car hyper ventilating, and the father is leaning in the window with the phone that has my ex on it. I'm too far away to hear what is happening, but five minutes of so later the father throws my phone on the ground breaking it, and motioning to me that he is going to slit my throat. (The finger across the throat thing). Now I'm really, really, angry. I start walking towards the car, and the bastard gets in his crapillac, and drives over my shrubs in reverse while leaving my driveway. This is going to get reeeeal ugly tomorrow. I'm off to the police station to file a report.