O.M.G. do not park your car under a tree during a heavy rainstorm...and then open your sunroof...
06-15-2008, 11:59 AM
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O.M.G. do not park your car under a tree during a heavy rainstorm...and then open your sunroof...
Just had a total meltdown...maybe a psychotic experience, I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of Karma as well...
Took my dad out to Swiss Chalet for lunch, and parked under a tree just as it started to rain.
Came back out and my car was covered in leaves and these little green dots everywhere. Whatever, I thought, no big deal. Didn't think much of it.
So I decided to have a spirited cruise around just to blow all the crap off my car. It turned sunny again, the car looked pretty much dry. It was beautiful outside, so I opened the sunroof.
And out of nowhere, this huge puddle of water poured into my car.
"F***!!!!!" What was I thinking? I am such a DUMBASS!
I gunned it to an Esso, and as I was pulling into it, I noticed my skin felt funny. "WHAT THE F***?!"
Dozens, if not hundreds of little green bugs were EVERYWHERE in my car. In my hair, down my shirt, on my arm, on my beautiful piano black trim...
I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I stopped the car at the gas station, ran outside, tore off my shirt, and started running around frantically, yelling "AHHHHHH WHATTTT THAAAA FUUU********!!!!!"
Startled a few people but man I really could not care. I HATE bugs. I really, really hate bugs.
After a few minutes of brushing myself with whatever I could find, I calmed down, put my shirt back on, and started back towards the car, still running. Shut it off, and started to try and brush the countless hoards of little green insects out of my car. O.M.G. I went nuts.
Then I rushed into the station, and asked the bemused clerk ("you okay man?") for the cheapest car wash.
Then, as I was sitting in the car wash, I noticed movement in the sliding sunshade. Startled, I realized that there were dozens more of these f*cking insects between the sunroof and the sunshade. I swore so loudly I hurt my own ears.
Didn't even bother to dry the car, drove back outside, grabbed my Swiffer Duster and started swiping the little bastards. They went flying everywhere, they were caught in my clothes again, they went back into the interior, and they were caught in the duster.
I realized I was fighting a losing battle, so I did the next most sensible thing I could think of (I wasn't really thinking much), so I leapt back in the car, opened all the windows, opened the sunroof, and drove as f*cking fast as I could, frantically swatting the little fuc*ers with the Swiffer Duster as I booted the B7 faster than its ever been pushed. Impound shmimpound, go ahead and take my car, it's filled with f*cking bugs...
Passed a silver B5 S4 on the way...sounded very nice.
Got onto my driveway, stepped out again, cleared out another few dozen bugs. Looked at myself, and saw little green stains all over my shirt...bug carcasses. Also noticed my shirt was now inside-out. Realized what I spectacle I just given the entire town of Markham.
.
Suppose it's karma. Just yesterday I decided, for fun, to set all the little ant hills on my driveway on fire with a bit of butane and a Zippo. I stood on my driveway cackling as the little buggers fried and popped.
I'm sorry, Mother Nature...I won't do it again...
Took my dad out to Swiss Chalet for lunch, and parked under a tree just as it started to rain.
Came back out and my car was covered in leaves and these little green dots everywhere. Whatever, I thought, no big deal. Didn't think much of it.
So I decided to have a spirited cruise around just to blow all the crap off my car. It turned sunny again, the car looked pretty much dry. It was beautiful outside, so I opened the sunroof.
And out of nowhere, this huge puddle of water poured into my car.
"F***!!!!!" What was I thinking? I am such a DUMBASS!
I gunned it to an Esso, and as I was pulling into it, I noticed my skin felt funny. "WHAT THE F***?!"
Dozens, if not hundreds of little green bugs were EVERYWHERE in my car. In my hair, down my shirt, on my arm, on my beautiful piano black trim...
I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I stopped the car at the gas station, ran outside, tore off my shirt, and started running around frantically, yelling "AHHHHHH WHATTTT THAAAA FUUU********!!!!!"
Startled a few people but man I really could not care. I HATE bugs. I really, really hate bugs.
After a few minutes of brushing myself with whatever I could find, I calmed down, put my shirt back on, and started back towards the car, still running. Shut it off, and started to try and brush the countless hoards of little green insects out of my car. O.M.G. I went nuts.
Then I rushed into the station, and asked the bemused clerk ("you okay man?") for the cheapest car wash.
Then, as I was sitting in the car wash, I noticed movement in the sliding sunshade. Startled, I realized that there were dozens more of these f*cking insects between the sunroof and the sunshade. I swore so loudly I hurt my own ears.
Didn't even bother to dry the car, drove back outside, grabbed my Swiffer Duster and started swiping the little bastards. They went flying everywhere, they were caught in my clothes again, they went back into the interior, and they were caught in the duster.
I realized I was fighting a losing battle, so I did the next most sensible thing I could think of (I wasn't really thinking much), so I leapt back in the car, opened all the windows, opened the sunroof, and drove as f*cking fast as I could, frantically swatting the little fuc*ers with the Swiffer Duster as I booted the B7 faster than its ever been pushed. Impound shmimpound, go ahead and take my car, it's filled with f*cking bugs...
Passed a silver B5 S4 on the way...sounded very nice.
Got onto my driveway, stepped out again, cleared out another few dozen bugs. Looked at myself, and saw little green stains all over my shirt...bug carcasses. Also noticed my shirt was now inside-out. Realized what I spectacle I just given the entire town of Markham.
.
Suppose it's karma. Just yesterday I decided, for fun, to set all the little ant hills on my driveway on fire with a bit of butane and a Zippo. I stood on my driveway cackling as the little buggers fried and popped.
I'm sorry, Mother Nature...I won't do it again...
