Spring Metamorphosis hits AudiWorld....
04-01-2007, 04:42 AM
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The Best of GBW................
I've never considered it, but some of my friends have asked for some of my more, er eclectic, posts....here's a summary for those of you with nothing better to do on a Sunday morning...I'm sure there were others, but these are the ones that come to mind quickly...
<a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/a6/msgs/664388.phtml"> Best of GBW - Ming I GIAC S Chip</a>
<a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/a6/msgs/690694.phtml"> Best of GBW - Ming II Purchase</a>
<a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/a6/msgs/700775.phtml"> Best of GBW - Ming II Metamorphosis</a>
GTG Drama Queen - This one was done for the 8/06 GTG...don't know where the post went, because I can't find it anymore. Perhaps the thread was deleted....
The Razr sat on the passenger's seat, still holding the heat of that heat stopping conversation. GBW's mind raced and he considered the implications of that conversation, implications that put his attendance at the Boston GTG into great question.
He pulled his coffee from the A6 cup holder and took a slow sip of a Dunkin' regular, contemplating his next move. The safe move would be to simply attend the family function and skip the GTG, but the man know as Mr. Excitement, knew there had to be other options.
As the granule of sugar dissolved on his tongue (less of a tip next time he noted) he devised a strategy, so conniving and simple, that he could please Mrs. GBW and make the GTG. He would resort to the strategy proven in business on a daily basis, a strategy that had supported generations of public servants and private business...the negotiation of bribes.
But as simple as the solution was, the touchy issue was how to deliver the bribe in a subtle, discrete manner, without having the stakes raised even higher when Mrs. GBW realized what the true stakes were and how strong her bargaining position truly was. This bold strategy would have to start with insignificant bribes and cumulate with the granting of a wish that has been discussed for years. Upon a moment of reflection, GBW recognized the steps that had to be taken and thrust the Tiptronic into Drive (note to self: get a six speed manual next time)
The A6 crisply turned the corner (thanks H-Sports) and accelerated sharply up the driveway, until the painted HP-2's brought the 2.7t to a stop. GBW paused and glanced at his watch. It was 6:15pm, another grueling day at the office, but there were GTG's to be attended and plans to be implemented. As he strode into the kitchen, the girls in their pink dresses looked up from their Barbie dolls and rushed GBW to give him a big hug. Mrs. GBW, momentarily paused from the seven course meal being prepared and poured GBW a Tanqueray and tonic.
The moment was picture perfect, GBW even paused, considering perhaps this was too easy, then looking into her brown eyes said, "I know you've wanted to play golf all summer, and I've been too busy. I've taken Monday off. Hire a baby sitter for the day and we'll go play golf" Ecstatically golf plans were made and GBW went to wash the Ming Monster and savor the moment.
As he contemplated his next bribe, GBW noticed that the brake dust was harder to remove than normal on the polished 4.2 sport wheel. To his horror, he noted that it was not Audi brake dust, but dirty, slimly, grease. Reeling, he recalled the rash of CV Boot failures noted in a "public service" post by Boston Driver. Looking deeper into the abyss, he noted the tie rod end boot was also torn. Pausing to catch is breath, GBW wondered if his efforts would be for naught as the Ming Monster might not be repaired in time to make the trip to Boston!
The Service Advisor took two steps back as GBW described the cataclysmic situation with the CV boot and tie rod. "Yuck" he muttered (hoping GBW had not heard that), considering the plight of the noob technician that would soon be facing this mess, and like a doctor reassuring an expectant father, he reassured GBW that this was a normal procedure. Medicine has come a long way in the 19 years he'd been an Audi owner. There was nothing to worry about; it was in the hands of a trained professional. As he was ushered out of the service department, GBW heard that loud latex "snap" as the noob pulled on his gloves, and he left the building.....his steed was down and he was going to work. Sigh.
Throwing "WebSense" alerts to the wind, GBW recklessly reviewed page after page of AudiWorld in his office. The clock was ticking. As his fingers tapped out a frustrated tone on the desk he reflected that he was deeply in the hole over this GTG. Golf $40. Lunch $25. Baby Sitter $70. CV boot and Tie Rod end: Priceless (literally). Ominously the phone rang, displaying the telephone number of the service department. It was too early for them to call, something must have gone wrong. Maybe the Ming Monster had to be put down. GBW imagined the horror of attending the GTG in a 1968 Buick, and answered the phone.
The voice on the far end was that of the Service Advisor. GBW listened carefully to the tone of the voice, attempting to determine the cause of the glee in his voice: was it because the car survived the trauma, or was it because his credit card wouldn't. Eight hours later he still wonders. In any event, GBW's efforts to be ruthless were not in vain, the Ming Monster is ready and able to reach Boston. The Million Dollar question is; will GBW be ready and able to reach Boston.
Sitting in the driver's seat, in brutal 102 degree heat, GBW was running out of time. He was desperate and panic was setting in. The plan had to change, an answer was needed tonight. Heck, people were referring to him as a Drama Queen.
The silver Motorola "bat wing" on the Razr reflected on the glistening windshield as GBW picked up the phone. These negotiations were going to come down to one call, and a bead of sweat fell from his forehead onto his watch as he dialed the digits with a shaking finger. It was like being in prison, coming down to one phone call, and like that it was over. It was time to face the music.
The twin turbos spooled up warp speed and whisked GBW home with his all or nothing bribe. After getting the girls into bed, the house was unusually quiet. Much too quiet in fact. But the future of his attendance at the GTG was at stake, so he slowly turned to Mrs. GBW and said "Oh, I confirmed the Disney reservations today. Eleven days, not just 7, what do you think?" But a day of 102 degrees and two tired kids had left Mrs. GBW, well not that thrilled. Perplexed by the response, GBW pressed on and mentioned the GTG on Tuesday....could he attend?
In the next moment he'd know if all his efforts would pay off. In the next moment he'd know if he'd be able to attend the GTG. You could have heard a pin drop, and GBW strained his ear just a little to hear "sure you can go, I had other plans for Tuesday anyway"
I'll judge if you still need one!
<a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/a6/msgs/664388.phtml"> Best of GBW - Ming I GIAC S Chip</a>
<a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/a6/msgs/690694.phtml"> Best of GBW - Ming II Purchase</a>
<a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/a6/msgs/700775.phtml"> Best of GBW - Ming II Metamorphosis</a>
GTG Drama Queen - This one was done for the 8/06 GTG...don't know where the post went, because I can't find it anymore. Perhaps the thread was deleted....
The Razr sat on the passenger's seat, still holding the heat of that heat stopping conversation. GBW's mind raced and he considered the implications of that conversation, implications that put his attendance at the Boston GTG into great question.
He pulled his coffee from the A6 cup holder and took a slow sip of a Dunkin' regular, contemplating his next move. The safe move would be to simply attend the family function and skip the GTG, but the man know as Mr. Excitement, knew there had to be other options.
As the granule of sugar dissolved on his tongue (less of a tip next time he noted) he devised a strategy, so conniving and simple, that he could please Mrs. GBW and make the GTG. He would resort to the strategy proven in business on a daily basis, a strategy that had supported generations of public servants and private business...the negotiation of bribes.
But as simple as the solution was, the touchy issue was how to deliver the bribe in a subtle, discrete manner, without having the stakes raised even higher when Mrs. GBW realized what the true stakes were and how strong her bargaining position truly was. This bold strategy would have to start with insignificant bribes and cumulate with the granting of a wish that has been discussed for years. Upon a moment of reflection, GBW recognized the steps that had to be taken and thrust the Tiptronic into Drive (note to self: get a six speed manual next time)
The A6 crisply turned the corner (thanks H-Sports) and accelerated sharply up the driveway, until the painted HP-2's brought the 2.7t to a stop. GBW paused and glanced at his watch. It was 6:15pm, another grueling day at the office, but there were GTG's to be attended and plans to be implemented. As he strode into the kitchen, the girls in their pink dresses looked up from their Barbie dolls and rushed GBW to give him a big hug. Mrs. GBW, momentarily paused from the seven course meal being prepared and poured GBW a Tanqueray and tonic.
The moment was picture perfect, GBW even paused, considering perhaps this was too easy, then looking into her brown eyes said, "I know you've wanted to play golf all summer, and I've been too busy. I've taken Monday off. Hire a baby sitter for the day and we'll go play golf" Ecstatically golf plans were made and GBW went to wash the Ming Monster and savor the moment.
As he contemplated his next bribe, GBW noticed that the brake dust was harder to remove than normal on the polished 4.2 sport wheel. To his horror, he noted that it was not Audi brake dust, but dirty, slimly, grease. Reeling, he recalled the rash of CV Boot failures noted in a "public service" post by Boston Driver. Looking deeper into the abyss, he noted the tie rod end boot was also torn. Pausing to catch is breath, GBW wondered if his efforts would be for naught as the Ming Monster might not be repaired in time to make the trip to Boston!
The Service Advisor took two steps back as GBW described the cataclysmic situation with the CV boot and tie rod. "Yuck" he muttered (hoping GBW had not heard that), considering the plight of the noob technician that would soon be facing this mess, and like a doctor reassuring an expectant father, he reassured GBW that this was a normal procedure. Medicine has come a long way in the 19 years he'd been an Audi owner. There was nothing to worry about; it was in the hands of a trained professional. As he was ushered out of the service department, GBW heard that loud latex "snap" as the noob pulled on his gloves, and he left the building.....his steed was down and he was going to work. Sigh.
Throwing "WebSense" alerts to the wind, GBW recklessly reviewed page after page of AudiWorld in his office. The clock was ticking. As his fingers tapped out a frustrated tone on the desk he reflected that he was deeply in the hole over this GTG. Golf $40. Lunch $25. Baby Sitter $70. CV boot and Tie Rod end: Priceless (literally). Ominously the phone rang, displaying the telephone number of the service department. It was too early for them to call, something must have gone wrong. Maybe the Ming Monster had to be put down. GBW imagined the horror of attending the GTG in a 1968 Buick, and answered the phone.
The voice on the far end was that of the Service Advisor. GBW listened carefully to the tone of the voice, attempting to determine the cause of the glee in his voice: was it because the car survived the trauma, or was it because his credit card wouldn't. Eight hours later he still wonders. In any event, GBW's efforts to be ruthless were not in vain, the Ming Monster is ready and able to reach Boston. The Million Dollar question is; will GBW be ready and able to reach Boston.
Sitting in the driver's seat, in brutal 102 degree heat, GBW was running out of time. He was desperate and panic was setting in. The plan had to change, an answer was needed tonight. Heck, people were referring to him as a Drama Queen.
The silver Motorola "bat wing" on the Razr reflected on the glistening windshield as GBW picked up the phone. These negotiations were going to come down to one call, and a bead of sweat fell from his forehead onto his watch as he dialed the digits with a shaking finger. It was like being in prison, coming down to one phone call, and like that it was over. It was time to face the music.
The twin turbos spooled up warp speed and whisked GBW home with his all or nothing bribe. After getting the girls into bed, the house was unusually quiet. Much too quiet in fact. But the future of his attendance at the GTG was at stake, so he slowly turned to Mrs. GBW and said "Oh, I confirmed the Disney reservations today. Eleven days, not just 7, what do you think?" But a day of 102 degrees and two tired kids had left Mrs. GBW, well not that thrilled. Perplexed by the response, GBW pressed on and mentioned the GTG on Tuesday....could he attend?
In the next moment he'd know if all his efforts would pay off. In the next moment he'd know if he'd be able to attend the GTG. You could have heard a pin drop, and GBW strained his ear just a little to hear "sure you can go, I had other plans for Tuesday anyway"
I'll judge if you still need one!
04-01-2007, 04:50 AM
#6
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How could I forget this classic...
<ul><li><a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/a6/msgs/467512.phtml">Best of GBW - Mommy Got Run Over By a Reindeer</a></li></ul>
04-01-2007, 07:38 AM
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You haven't seen his work in
Penthouse Letters?? LOL
I am still blown away by the entire switch of cars, to end up with what 99% of the world will think is the same car. Talk about a sleeper.
I am still blown away by the entire switch of cars, to end up with what 99% of the world will think is the same car. Talk about a sleeper.
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