>FEUDALISM
>
>You have 2 cows. Your Lord takes some of the Milk
>
>FASCISM
>
>You have 2 cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them
>and sells you the Milk
>
>
>PURE COMMUNISM
>
>You have 2 cows. Your neighbours take care of them and you all share the
>milk.
>
>
>APPLIED COMMUNISM
>
>You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them but the government takes all
>the milk.
>
>
>DICTATORSHIP
>
>You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
>
>
>MILITARISM
>
>You have 2 cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
>
>
>PURE DEMOCRACY
>
>You have 2 cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
>
>
>REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
>
>You have 2 cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the
>milk.
>
>
>NIGERIAN DEMOCRACY
>
>You have 2 cows. The government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows
>to Zurich.
>
>
>AMERICAN DEMOCRACY
>
>The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for them. After the
>election the President is impeached for speculating in Cow futures. The
>Press dubs the affair "Cowgate". The cow sues you for breach of contract.
>
>
>
>BRITISH DEMOCRACY
>
>You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The
>government doesn't do anything.
>
>
>
>EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY
>
>You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them
>and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that
>it takes both, shoots one and milks the other, pouring the milk down the
>drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms regarding the missing cows.
>
>
>
>SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY
>
>You have 2 cows. The government fines you for keeping 2 unlicensed farm
>animals in your apartment.
>
>
>
>CAPITALISM
>
>You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a Bull
>
>
>
>HONG KONG CAPITALISM
>
>You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using
>letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
>debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you can get all 4
>cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6
>cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands
>company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to
>all 7 cows milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the
>company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2
>cows because of bad Feng Shui.
>
>
>
>TOTALITARIANISM
>
>You have 2 cows. The government takes both and denies they ever existed.
>Milk is banned.
>
>
>
>POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
>
>You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the
>phallucentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no
>less valuable to society) bovines of unspecified gender.
>
>
>
>SURREALISM
>
>You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
>lessons.
>