Am dying laughing here...the women TTers will get this alot more, but I couldn't resist....
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Elder Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 29,302
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Am dying laughing here...the women TTers will get this alot more, but I couldn't resist....
Menopausal Women Training for Afghanistan -- The Solution.
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause. Train them
for a few weeks. Outfit them with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,
moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna. Drop
them (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan and let them
do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Their anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff
like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even
armed men in turbans tremble.
They've had their children, they would gladly suffer or die to protect them and
their future. They'd like to get away from their husbands, if they haven't left
already. And for those who are single, the prospect of finding a good
man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.
They have nothing to lose.
They've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and
the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a
pound. They can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan
with no food at all!
They've spent years tracking down their husbands or lovers in bars, hardware
stores, and sporting events. Finding bin Laden in some cave will be a piece-of-cake.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government?
Oh, please! They've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and
extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years. They understand tribal
warfare.
Between them, they've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for
how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources.
They know how to find that money and they know how to seize it ... with or
without the government's help!
Let them go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as these women
crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause. Train them
for a few weeks. Outfit them with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,
moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna. Drop
them (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan and let them
do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Their anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff
like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even
armed men in turbans tremble.
They've had their children, they would gladly suffer or die to protect them and
their future. They'd like to get away from their husbands, if they haven't left
already. And for those who are single, the prospect of finding a good
man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.
They have nothing to lose.
They've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and
the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a
pound. They can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan
with no food at all!
They've spent years tracking down their husbands or lovers in bars, hardware
stores, and sporting events. Finding bin Laden in some cave will be a piece-of-cake.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government?
Oh, please! They've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and
extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years. They understand tribal
warfare.
Between them, they've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for
how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources.
They know how to find that money and they know how to seize it ... with or
without the government's help!
Let them go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as these women
crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
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