Aussie Drunk :

From the State where drink driving is considered a sport,
comes a true story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car
park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the
man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few
minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car,switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine
dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and
then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then
remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down
the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car,
put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test.
To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to
the Police station this Breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".

True story...