Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers,
a State police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks
to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns
on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies--two in
the front seat and three in the back--wide-eyed and motion-less.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't
understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the
problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should
know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit
exactly 22 miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was
the highway number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for
pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone in this
car okay? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a
single peep this whole time," the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off
Highway 119."

 

Tats cute,robby.....

 

Isn't the the highway nuimber for Sam's Gap?

 

Yup...:-)

 

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home after spending a great day fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding a little...

As he was heading down the hill, at the bottom a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, and motioned him to the side of the road.

Bob pulled over like a good citizen. The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going boy?"

Bob thought for a second and said, "Uh, 60?"

"67 mph, boy! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop.

"If you already knew" replied Bob, "why did you ask me?"

Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!"

The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"

Bob answered, "I've got a job! I've got a very good job!"

The cop leaned in the window, sniffing the air, and said, "What kind of a job would a smelly bum like you have?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob.

"What you say, boy?" asked the patrolman.

"I'm a rectum stretcher!"

The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?" Bob explained, "When someone needs to be stretched, I'm the one who does it. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then both hands. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until the rectum is a full six feet across."

The cop, absorbed with this bizarre image in his mind, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot *******?"

Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the bottom of a hill!"

 

lol

 

LOL! good one.

 

Hehehe - good one.......but you ain't stealing my crown yet bud !! ;-)