Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.


NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet

 

Two nuns from Glasgow, Sister Bridgette and Sister Bernadette, are traveling through Europe in their car.

They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the bonnet of the car and hisses through the windshield.

'Aw naw!' shouts Sister Bridgette, 'Whit are we gonnae dae?'

'Turn the windshield wipers oan. That'll get ridda the abomination.'says Sister Bernie. Sister Bridge switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

'Whit am Ah gonnae dae noo?' she shouts. 'Switch oan the windshield washer. Ah filt it up wi Holy Water at the Vatican ' says Sister Bernie. Sister Bridge turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

'It didnae wurk, whit'll Ah dae?' shouts Sister Bridge. 'Show him yer cross,' says Sister Bernie. 'Aye, that's whit tae dae,' says Sister Bridge. She opens the window and shouts, 'Get the f*ck aff the f*ckin' car ya
wee basturt or Ah`ll boot yer baws.

 

<img src="http://pictureposter.audiworld.com/110237/dscf0032.jpg">

<img src="http://pictureposter.audiworld.com/110237/dscf0027.jpg">

<img src="http://pictureposter.audiworld.com/110237/dscf0033.jpg">

and for my mom's yorkie
<img src="http://pictureposter.audiworld.com/110237/dscf0037.jpg">

 

better :-))

Some bloke had a DB9 down our gym last night....I couldn't help but stare at it, while I was sat in my car. Verrrrry nice

 

"Ooch, laddie, aiy doan no er ya bin, boot ahm glad ta see ya won furst prize!"

 

LOLOLOL........

 

I can GUARANTEE you that most of those are NOT "Only in Britain"!

 

Hey, we claimed them first though bud ;-)

 

"3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue." WTF?

 

test, where you lick the bottom of a battery - if you feel a tingle, then there's life in the battery.

Maybe the 9v is too strong a battery to do that test on ?, or maybe the dumbasses had it in the device which was switched on at the time....LOL