My dear TT. I desired you from the moment I laid eyes on you in Paris in `97. When we were finally together in 2005 it was under the guise of "This shiny new sports car is for you dear, really" and she bought it. You and I would steal away for evening and weekend drives and it was magical.

But then your suspension and 18" rims failed to provide adequate protection for my back side. Your DSG shifted quickly but was lazy and sluggish at startup and frequently was confused out of sharp corners. The limited visibility out of your windows while my head is high in your domed ceiling got old and my neck is sore from ducking to see stoplights. Oh, and the constant nagging of your squeaks and rattles from unknown places has become tiring. Not to mention that the slightest rain makes your bottom a very dirty, dirty place.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's over. I went searching for a new love. I checked out your bigger, sexier sister "S5" but realized that I needed a little more space coupled with that thrust. I considered your cousin "S4 Avant" but she still felt a little tight for me. Your aunt "A6" can accommodate my "size" but doesn't like it when I drive her hard and she's not anywhere near as fast as you - like a librarian in a mini skirt with a chastity belt.

Where was I to turn? I'm sorry to say I've found a new love. She's called a BMW 535i with a sporty package. I love how she makes me feel when I ride her and she likes to go hard all day. Hitting 60 in 5.6 seconds? Common, that's insane for a full size beauty like her. I know you always brag about how good you are on all fours (you call it "Quattro") but here, slippery is not an issue. She might not be as gorgeous as some of your relatives but she has secret ways that make up for it.

I hate to break the news to you publicly but I was afraid you wouldn't understand why I'm placing your information on Craigslist. I'm sure someone else will love your creamy vanilla leather seats as much as I did. Maybe they won't have such a hard time squeezing out of your long doors while sandwiched between a Hummer and an Escalade at the mall. Perhaps they won't grow tired of the "ghey" jokes on AWOT.

For what it's worth though, I'm bringing home a beautiful new Q7 S-line for my wife and she's black (the car not my wife). I'm afraid you won't be seeing her any more either. Don't worry, I'll try to find you a good home now that I'm through with you. And hey, your memory will live on in my sig.

Buh-bye.

<img src="http://pictureposter.audiworld.com/38312/dsc01489.jpg">

 

Sell it

 

lol just how tall are you? I don't find myself all that cramped and I'm 6'5.

 

did you breakup with your girlfriends via memo too??? ;-P

 

And I don't mean the car

 

lol

 

lol!

 

Weak Sauce.

 

That was enjoyable

 

I enjoyed your letter very much. A gorgeous mistress is hard to dismiss.