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Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML
LOL!
Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I've just learnt that she has a website where she *********** in front of a webcam. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML"


