Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically challenged. This is an excerpt for a Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the floods of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard
to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic
bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer with
photocopies of the floppies.

4. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy into
the drive and close the door. The customer asked the Tech to hold on and
was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the
room to close the door to his room.

5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered
that the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of
the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water
and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removed all the keys and
washed them all individually.

7. A Dell Tech. received a call from a customer who was enraged because
his computer had told him he was "bad and invalid." The tech explained
that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be
taken personally.

8. A confused consumer called IBM and was having troubles printing
documents. He told the technician that the computer said it "couldn't find
the printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen
to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the
printer.

9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in,
the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The foot pedal turned out to be the computer's mouse.

10. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say that her brand new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and
sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power
switch?"

11. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the
second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it
said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user had
not realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

12. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for
installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its
cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the
casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

13. True story from a Novell NetWire Sysop: Caller: "Hello, is this Tech
Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did
you receive this as a part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you
get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't
stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load
drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the
drive!!

14. A woman called the Cannon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman
responded., "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is working fine."

15. Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: " On your keyboard Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

Sad part is.....i've met people like these at work!

 

LMFAO! "I can't find the 'any' key!!!"

 

Any tech can tell you about these stories, especially the cup holder one. Some (that like to tell tall tales) will even say they took the call.

But the dumbest one I ever took personally was a lady that I told to right mouse click on an icon. There was a long pause. "Did you right click on it?"

"I'm trying to figure out which one is the left button and which is the right button."

 

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