Ur S4 vs camaro kill story
01-10-2004, 11:48 PM
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Ur S4 vs camaro kill story
posted back in 12/17/01 in TT forum
Camaro RS Vs. Audi S4 - Great Kill Story!!!
This was posted yesterday on the E21 Message Board. Enjoy it!!
Poor hapless kid in the new (to him) Camaro RS wants
to race...
He works at a suntan parlor 2 doors down from my store and has seen
me fiddlin with my UrS4 out back for nigh on a year since he started
work there. I can't imagine how he got this car w/payments and
insurance as he's had a ton of tickets and totaled his last car (an
Accord EX) by rear-ending an Explorer at a stop light.
Anyway he asks me if I wanna race and I tellim "I'm a road racer, not
a drag racer... my car isn't set up for straight line." He was smart
enough to say "I won't race you on the road course but I'll race in a
straight line with you from a 30-35mph rolling start." I ask him if
want's to put any money on it as "jus for grins in a straight line
doesn't much suit me." He says "I can't afford to race for money" but
then three of his friends say they'll run to the ATM and come up with
$500 that says he'll take me to 120mph. I agreed and told em to go
get the money and meet me at "X" spot at 7pm tonight... a little
rural road 20 minutes northeast of town.
Now I've got the guilts. They just returned with the money and showed
me... all 20's, ATM fodder. They're all stoked and I feel awful.
Hell, I like this kid...he works next door and he aint got a friggin
clue what he's up against. His car is stock, 3 years old with an auto
tranny and Road Hugger 245/50/16 well-used tires. I'm nigh on 400HP
and running 26psi of boost and we're racing at 6,300 ft elevation.
He's 25-26 years old, I'm 51. I'll kill him or dally with him and
beat him by as much or little as I choose... easily... fretfully
easily... no contest! He's a good kid and he'll take it in stride,
but I don't wanna alienate him. His friends worry me since they're
the ones gonna be out a metric butt-ton of money... maybe their rent
money or car payments. I don't want my car keyed or vandalized as a
result and I don't want to embarrass him in front of them.
But I agreed. I can back out or I can race. I'm thinking, race him,
beat him, then tell them to keep the money and be more careful
challenging what they know not. I could easily mop the floor with him
but I feel guilty about how this little banter has gotten outta hand.
What's yer vote? What would you do?
2nd part:
Results from last night's Camaro RS vs UrS4 race(if
you can call it that)...
Bigger 'n Dallas these guys were at the designated place even before
I was and I was on time. They were all cocky, boisterous and bold...
hootin & hollerin and making all kinda claims about how this was
gonna end up. Stuff like "painting your calipers red and writing
Porsche on them ain't gonna save ya tonight." They still think I
painted my stock calipers red and wrote Porsche on them, then drilled
holes in my front/rear rotors. The guy who owns the Camaro and works
next door to me was obviously nervous. And while he didn't have an
equity role in this, I think he was scared to death of letting down
his friends. He wasn't involved in any of the jeering or impudence.
They asked to look one more time under my hood to make sure I hadn't
added anything (Like what could I bolt on in 3 hours?). Then started
in again with "Looks like a motor, only smaller" and "My Toyota has a
bigger motor than that." Then they started in with "So... ya wanna
jus give us the $500 and save yourself the embarrassment?" I told
em "No... I want you to take it from me."
So we lined up... The driver pulled up and the 3 friends asked him to
drive them to a point a mile or so down the road. I asked what they
were doing and they replied "We're not gonna ride with him but we
want to see him near the finish line. So in a fit of cockiness I
asked if they wanted to ride with me? They guffawed and laughed and
said "We don't wanna slow ya down or give you an excuse to not pay."
I told em they shouldn't worry as they know where I work. So they
asked if "I was sure?" I said, damn betcha... hop in!
We agree to a rolling start at around 45mph... a good spot for me
where I'm just coming into around 16psi of boost. The road we're on
is a to-the-horizon road with unlimited visibility and no
entrances/exits for 15 or so miles... just ranch/range land. Inside
thermometer is showing 78 degrees out... perfect for me. So the kids
climb in and I make em buckle up (I have a plan
for later) and we start rolling.
When we got to around 40-42 the Camaro trounces it. I go to about 60%
throttle. The kid beside starts to yell "He's gonna kill ya!" At this
point the RS is about 1.5 carlengths ahead. At that point I floor it
to 7100rpms and hit 26psi of boost, go for third and my passengers
don't know whether to [Oops!] or go blind. I pass the RS in about
half a second. At 120mph (The agreed upon finish speed) the RS is by
their count, 10-12 carlengths behind me. I keep going. I shift into
5th and still have the throttle floored. The boys are squirming a
little and looking at me a little like WTF ya doin?" I tellem we're
goin for a little longer ride than Craig (The kid driving the Camaro
who is now completely out of sight. I tellem to let me know when
they've had enough. The first one says "Thats enough" right then, on
the spot. I say "Nope... gotta be unanimous." We're near 145mph now
and the 2nd one says "Ok, ok thats enough." I ask the remaining one
sitting beside me how he feels as he's looking around for something
to hold on to. He says nothing for about 10 seconds then as the
speedo goes about 10mph past it's final calibration at 170mph he says
ok ok, PLEASE stop."
So I did... but not just any stop... I wanted to show em how some
homemade red calipers with Porsche painted on them can stop. I stood
on it for ALL they were worth. If these guys hadn't been buckled in
they'd have found themselves about 400 ft ahead of where the car came
to a complete stop. Then I did a slow u-turn and headed back to where
Craig was... 4 or so miles back. Asked em if they'd like to pay now
or see if we can hit 200mph (I was
bluffing)? Felt a hand on my shoulder and looked down and saw a neat
stack of consecutively numbered 20's. Nary a word was spoken till we
got back to Craig who didn't have a clue what was going on. Then the
tide turned... now all of a sudden they can't contain their
excitement... they're bold and cocky again exclaiming they went over
170mph!! and "It was great!!"
So we gabbed for awhile then I asked if I could treat em to pizza and
beer and they declined as they had girlfriends who would be
wondering/worrying about them (Rightly so). So I pulled their money
out, peeled 2
twenties from the pile and told em "Here... I dont
want this... I had fun... thanks but I'm keeping $40
for you buying me dinner, wear/tear & gas. Then as I'm driving off
one says I have a friend with a VR4 that will race you. I asked him
if he would personally cover his friend's bet if we were to do that?
He thought about it a second then said "Ummm...no."
I said g'nite guys.
Nice kids... paid the bet and never uttered a syllable of excuse. A
heaping helping of crow, served warm, is a powerful teacher.
Pretty sad... the craziness of it all.
I give props to the person who actually wrote/experienced this. not sure who it is, I've seen it posted on a couple sites, sorry, are you around for insight?
Camaro RS Vs. Audi S4 - Great Kill Story!!!
This was posted yesterday on the E21 Message Board. Enjoy it!!
Poor hapless kid in the new (to him) Camaro RS wants
to race...
He works at a suntan parlor 2 doors down from my store and has seen
me fiddlin with my UrS4 out back for nigh on a year since he started
work there. I can't imagine how he got this car w/payments and
insurance as he's had a ton of tickets and totaled his last car (an
Accord EX) by rear-ending an Explorer at a stop light.
Anyway he asks me if I wanna race and I tellim "I'm a road racer, not
a drag racer... my car isn't set up for straight line." He was smart
enough to say "I won't race you on the road course but I'll race in a
straight line with you from a 30-35mph rolling start." I ask him if
want's to put any money on it as "jus for grins in a straight line
doesn't much suit me." He says "I can't afford to race for money" but
then three of his friends say they'll run to the ATM and come up with
$500 that says he'll take me to 120mph. I agreed and told em to go
get the money and meet me at "X" spot at 7pm tonight... a little
rural road 20 minutes northeast of town.
Now I've got the guilts. They just returned with the money and showed
me... all 20's, ATM fodder. They're all stoked and I feel awful.
Hell, I like this kid...he works next door and he aint got a friggin
clue what he's up against. His car is stock, 3 years old with an auto
tranny and Road Hugger 245/50/16 well-used tires. I'm nigh on 400HP
and running 26psi of boost and we're racing at 6,300 ft elevation.
He's 25-26 years old, I'm 51. I'll kill him or dally with him and
beat him by as much or little as I choose... easily... fretfully
easily... no contest! He's a good kid and he'll take it in stride,
but I don't wanna alienate him. His friends worry me since they're
the ones gonna be out a metric butt-ton of money... maybe their rent
money or car payments. I don't want my car keyed or vandalized as a
result and I don't want to embarrass him in front of them.
But I agreed. I can back out or I can race. I'm thinking, race him,
beat him, then tell them to keep the money and be more careful
challenging what they know not. I could easily mop the floor with him
but I feel guilty about how this little banter has gotten outta hand.
What's yer vote? What would you do?
2nd part:
Results from last night's Camaro RS vs UrS4 race(if
you can call it that)...
Bigger 'n Dallas these guys were at the designated place even before
I was and I was on time. They were all cocky, boisterous and bold...
hootin & hollerin and making all kinda claims about how this was
gonna end up. Stuff like "painting your calipers red and writing
Porsche on them ain't gonna save ya tonight." They still think I
painted my stock calipers red and wrote Porsche on them, then drilled
holes in my front/rear rotors. The guy who owns the Camaro and works
next door to me was obviously nervous. And while he didn't have an
equity role in this, I think he was scared to death of letting down
his friends. He wasn't involved in any of the jeering or impudence.
They asked to look one more time under my hood to make sure I hadn't
added anything (Like what could I bolt on in 3 hours?). Then started
in again with "Looks like a motor, only smaller" and "My Toyota has a
bigger motor than that." Then they started in with "So... ya wanna
jus give us the $500 and save yourself the embarrassment?" I told
em "No... I want you to take it from me."
So we lined up... The driver pulled up and the 3 friends asked him to
drive them to a point a mile or so down the road. I asked what they
were doing and they replied "We're not gonna ride with him but we
want to see him near the finish line. So in a fit of cockiness I
asked if they wanted to ride with me? They guffawed and laughed and
said "We don't wanna slow ya down or give you an excuse to not pay."
I told em they shouldn't worry as they know where I work. So they
asked if "I was sure?" I said, damn betcha... hop in!
We agree to a rolling start at around 45mph... a good spot for me
where I'm just coming into around 16psi of boost. The road we're on
is a to-the-horizon road with unlimited visibility and no
entrances/exits for 15 or so miles... just ranch/range land. Inside
thermometer is showing 78 degrees out... perfect for me. So the kids
climb in and I make em buckle up (I have a plan
for later) and we start rolling.
When we got to around 40-42 the Camaro trounces it. I go to about 60%
throttle. The kid beside starts to yell "He's gonna kill ya!" At this
point the RS is about 1.5 carlengths ahead. At that point I floor it
to 7100rpms and hit 26psi of boost, go for third and my passengers
don't know whether to [Oops!] or go blind. I pass the RS in about
half a second. At 120mph (The agreed upon finish speed) the RS is by
their count, 10-12 carlengths behind me. I keep going. I shift into
5th and still have the throttle floored. The boys are squirming a
little and looking at me a little like WTF ya doin?" I tellem we're
goin for a little longer ride than Craig (The kid driving the Camaro
who is now completely out of sight. I tellem to let me know when
they've had enough. The first one says "Thats enough" right then, on
the spot. I say "Nope... gotta be unanimous." We're near 145mph now
and the 2nd one says "Ok, ok thats enough." I ask the remaining one
sitting beside me how he feels as he's looking around for something
to hold on to. He says nothing for about 10 seconds then as the
speedo goes about 10mph past it's final calibration at 170mph he says
ok ok, PLEASE stop."
So I did... but not just any stop... I wanted to show em how some
homemade red calipers with Porsche painted on them can stop. I stood
on it for ALL they were worth. If these guys hadn't been buckled in
they'd have found themselves about 400 ft ahead of where the car came
to a complete stop. Then I did a slow u-turn and headed back to where
Craig was... 4 or so miles back. Asked em if they'd like to pay now
or see if we can hit 200mph (I was
bluffing)? Felt a hand on my shoulder and looked down and saw a neat
stack of consecutively numbered 20's. Nary a word was spoken till we
got back to Craig who didn't have a clue what was going on. Then the
tide turned... now all of a sudden they can't contain their
excitement... they're bold and cocky again exclaiming they went over
170mph!! and "It was great!!"
So we gabbed for awhile then I asked if I could treat em to pizza and
beer and they declined as they had girlfriends who would be
wondering/worrying about them (Rightly so). So I pulled their money
out, peeled 2
twenties from the pile and told em "Here... I dont
want this... I had fun... thanks but I'm keeping $40
for you buying me dinner, wear/tear & gas. Then as I'm driving off
one says I have a friend with a VR4 that will race you. I asked him
if he would personally cover his friend's bet if we were to do that?
He thought about it a second then said "Ummm...no."
I said g'nite guys.
Nice kids... paid the bet and never uttered a syllable of excuse. A
heaping helping of crow, served warm, is a powerful teacher.
Pretty sad... the craziness of it all.
I give props to the person who actually wrote/experienced this. not sure who it is, I've seen it posted on a couple sites, sorry, are you around for insight?
Trending Topics
01-11-2004, 08:05 PM
#8
Re: Could it be Hap?
The author of this story is none other than Mance Etheridge(sp?). He owned a pearl urS4 with full RS2 regalia. The exception was his choice of RC 310cc injectors and stock fuel pressure regulator. It seems he ate a set of sparkplugs at the track from a too lean condition. HTH.
Hap, tryin to remember in Everboost
Hap, tryin to remember in Everboost