1) Spend $340.00 at dealer for new in stock auxilary fan 4Z7 959 455.

2) Watch your credit card burst into flames.

3) Return to the Curbside location nearest you (available in all 50 States, look out your window for your nearest one!)

4) Open hood. Note how hot car is.

5) Go upstairs, change into garage clothes.

6) Come downstairs, get first beer.

7) Enjoy.

8) Loosen clamp on intake to TBB for pass side intercooler.

9) Loosen two clamps holding DV.

10) Remove DV.

11) Loosen clamp on intercooler to intake pipe.

12) Remove 10mm bolt holding intake pipe to it's mount. Finish that beer now. This bolt will be the cause of 40 minutes of trying to line everything back up.

13) Remove bi-pipe. Stuff paper towels in openings.

14) Look down at fan, laugh at it, inform it it is now your bitch.

15) Burn yourself of the extremely hot engine. You've been pwned.

16) Remove one phillips head screw holding in fan. Twist fan clockwise and pull towards engine.

17) Burn self again. Return to garage for another beer.

18) Beer soothes burns....when ingested.

19) Remove plastic cover over the PS Reserve.

20) See those three plugs? You want the very bottom black one. Unclip it.

21) Follow the wire and remove it from the clips that retain it.

22) Remove fan. Make primal noises, drink beer, celebrate your victory, seek neighborhood cat to eat over your still flaming credit card.

23) RUN THE NEW FAN WIRE BEFORE PUTTING FAN IN!!

24) Refer to 23.

25) Seat fan on engine, run wire into clips. If you didn't let the car cool down, you're going to get burned a lot...again.

26) Plug in new fan wire. Notice warning sticker about fan starting at any time. Ignore it. You are the man, do not be owned by a sticker.

27) Beer, lots of it to soothe the resulting burns.

28) Get another beer.

29) Install fan in shroud, and reinstall screw.

30) More victory beer.

31) Look at bi-pipe.

32) Spend 20 minutes attempting to get it back into intercooler hose.

33) Spend 2 minutes plugging DV in.

34) Spend 1 minute insterting into TBB.

35) Tighten all the clamps.

36) Attempt 1 at putting in bolt. Fail. Repeat at least 70 times.

37) Say fvck it, push metal support out of way, install bolt into pipe.

38) Put all covers back on.

39) Start car. Turn on A/C. Fan works. Consume beer.

40) Urinate on old fan, go inside happy.

 

you've got a big bladder!

 

That there is funny.....

 

very detailed directions.... now i know what to do when im reading all those stickers... haha

 

Think they'll add this to the tech section?

 

effing awesome post!

 

<tracking for my site>

 

"You are the man, do not be owned by a sticker." HOF.

 

Dang, that was funny. I don't know if you have written others or not, but I deefinitely recognize your writing style, and believe I have laughed at your directions before.

Props for a good write-up, and humor to boot. I recently replaced my accessory belt-tensioner, so I know all about that fan, just not the wiring.

 

Hey SupraTL,

If you're still around, and not in a detox unit somewhere, maybe you could tell me how you got your hand down behind the fan shroud to release the wire clips. I followed your instructions step by step, enjoyed the beer btw, but I'm stuck on step 21. There isn't enough space to free the group of wires where it is clipped to the main clutch fan shroud. Not from above anyway. Did I miss something?