So, many threads throughout AudiWorld tend to begin like I titled this one. Alas, this one is really a story, no make that a saga.
It all began one February morning, A MONDAY morning. February 22nd, 2016.
I was driving back to East Lansing where I attend Michigan State as I stayed at my real home that weekend helping Mister Bally work on his VW Beetle, of all things. When we finished that work, we washed & waxed my 2003 TT to get rid of the winter grime I can’t take care of while living in a college town apartment. Love the heated garage at home.
As I drove back on my 75 mile trip, 60 miles into it I hear a “thud”. Then the dash lit up like a (Bally) pinball machine, the power is lost, then smoke starts billowing from the hood. I manage to pull over and much to my surprise, I see a puddle, no a river, of oil on the shoulder of Interstate 96.

Rather than post the usual “HELP! OIL LEAK! HELP PLEASE!” here on AudiWorld, I do what everyone should do when they encounter an emergency, I investigate by popping the hood. What a lovely aroma that awaited me. It was motor oil. Everywhere. Especially baking on the turbo and exhaust manifold.



I then resorted to plan B, which was to call Mister Bally who was beginning another fun-filled work week at his daily grind. I asked him if he was busy to which he grumbled with the effort of only half of his recommended daily intake of coffee: “yeah, I am”. I replied “I need you to come help me, my car died on I-96, it’s pouring out oil”. Much as he didn’t want to, he said, OK, I’ll head out. Plan on it taking me at least an hour to get there. I described the thud and everything. He said I should call a tow truck and have it taken to Williams Audi World in Lansing for them to look at. He said maybe an oil line on the back of the engine burst. Yeah, fat chance-more on that later.



Reassuring, right? Again, fat chance.

I called the dealer and got their towing company to rescue my car. They actually beat Mister Bally by 20 minutes. How pretty she looked on a flatbed tow truck...



Mister Bally (Ok, I’ll refer to him as “Dad” going forward here) met me as the tow guy unloaded my car and cleaned off the oil from the aluminum truck bed (extra charge applies). Dad came in his Beetle and after taking my stuff from the TT and putting it in the Bug, we went to the Service write-up area and explained what happened. You know the drill, one hour for Diagnostics, and of course they were backed up and could hopefully get to it by Friday. So, we left the car and then took care of three (campus, apartment, and work) parking permits to get them transferred to the Beetle as I needed a car. Dad bailed me out with a *free* loaner ;)
The parking permits and ultimately the fastest place on earth, the Department of Motor Vehicles, took a total of five hours to finish up. I then went to class. In the middle of this, I had to pick up my GF who returned to Michigan via an airport shuttle. Later, my Mom picked up my Dad. So life went on with a slower front wheel drive vehicle (Turbo, 1.8, but way less HP).
Now, the waiting began.

As it turned out, I decided to stop by the dealer 2 days after the vehicle was dropped off to show my GF it sitting behind the locked gates at the dealer. Much to my surprise, the head mechanic was leaving for the day and I just so happened to catch him on his way out. He asked if I was the owner of the TT. I said yes and proceeded to tell him what I was hoping it was (the blown oil line), and what I thought had happened. He chuckled once, and then presented me with a small bag containing bits of metal.



It was at this point I knew exactly what unspeakable thing had happened. I was presented with some photos he had taken. Sure enough, I had thrown a rod. Cylinder three decided that the rod no longer wanted to help in the transfer of energy from the piston to the crank, and had obliterated itself. The only visible damage on the car could be seen by taking the belly pan off was the hole in the oil pan. Oh, and the visible jack-hammer effect that the rod had on the transfer case for the all-wheel drive system.
The next day I went and talked to the guy at the service center and told him to please make me a quote for the repair, just because I wanted to know. I was kind enough to say I will be picking up the vehicle in a few days and I already have an idea of how much it will cost. No way in hell would I be having the dealer do the work.
The next day I get a call, “Your quote is ready, sir.” So I happily come over and see. A new long block BEA engine: $7500; new transfer case: $1500; and labor: $2500. My Monday morning drive to school could have cost $11,500. What I do for the next few months: priceless.

Now the odyssey begins.

I call my dad and give him the news. With a very nice voice I say “uh dad…”, before I finish the sentence he responds “how much is this gonna cost us?” I went on and broke the news. A few hours later, I get a call back from him, “There are two BEA engines, short-block and long-block, in Shokan, New York with your name on either one.” Needless to say I was astonished. I had no idea where or how he found, let alone what a Shokan was (hopefully some of you know where I am going with this. If not, you have just been given an amazing Audi parts heaven). We then proceeded to make plans that following Friday to rent a flatbed trailer and tow the car back home.
Once we pushed the car up the driveway and into the garage, the fun began.



This photo sums up all of the problems ahead. Note: cylinder 3 is missing one of its two locking nuts and bolts securing the rod to the crank. This is the single failure point that caused the engine to grenade itself. That term has never had a better meaning to me than this experience.

The following morning, we began our drive to Shokan, New York.



Waiting for us at Shokan Coachworks was my used long-block engine with 60k miles on it.
After picking this up for a “measily” $1600, we made a side trip and went to see the Manhattan skyline. How ironic, then, that we ended up in Atlantic City for the evening.
The next coming weeks were torture for me knowing all that was needed for the repair was waiting for me back at home while I was stuck up at school. Finally when I got home for spring break, many sleepless nights began.
The following are photos of the removal of the engine, and the tear down of the new replacement engine.













uhh…yeah. How we all love the smell of Hypoid oil….That’s the Connecting Rod jack-hammering effect on the transfer case








Panorama shot of the large garage taken over by this mess.








One failed bolt caused all of this….




Note holes on both sides of the engine block









New Scat rods installed


















May as well install a larger down pipe while we’re in here. 42DD 3in race down pipe and mid-pipe.





Ready to install….









Almost back together








About to be started up….



This was at a gas station (had to fill it) after I started it up. Lots of funny noises for the first minute then it purred like a kitten. My Dad & I drove it for 12 miles as a shakedown. No leaks! So, five hours shy of six weeks from when it blew/grenaded/irrigated itself on the Interstate, she was back up and running. Not bad for a couple of amateurs. Scratch that, not bad for a Tech Guru and a Tech Guru-to-be…. Eh?


Epilogue: Rather than start a “HELP! OIL EVERYWHERE, HELP PLEASE” thread; research and do the work, or pay someone to do the work.
The Bentley Service manual along with all of our tools and standard automotive trouble shooting techniques were required to complete this entire build/rebuild.

Special thanks to Harbor Freight for the cheap latex gloves (three boxes of them), a friend from my Dad’s work who lent us the engine stand, my friend who lent me the engine lift, Shokan Coachworks, and especially those who gave me help with the grunt work.
We did this for about $3500.00 which also included the Scat forged connecting rods, used Transfer Case from Specializedgerman (a California based auto recycle center), countless boxes of stuff from ECS Tuning, and a bunch of parts from Germain (Formerly Howard Cooper) Audi in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

 

That's a heck of a cylinder 3 misfire

Remind me, are you running stock tune?

 

I've got a stage 1+ tune from unitronic that I've had for well over a year and a half now. By far the best mods i have done to the car.

 

A picture speaks a thousand words....

 

Well done! Good work, Bally jr, Mr. Bally, and friends! Thanks for sharing your story and the photos.

 

Yeah, I remember now. 225 feels strong in that car. Can't imagine what another 40 or so hp feels.

 

Nice. Last engine I remember tossing a rod was my brother's old Honda CB550-4 (?) Must have gone off with a BANG tho.... Pulling codes

We just had our TT coupe into the shop for a T-belt, oil seals/minor leaks. It has 267,000 km's, so about the same miles. I also did the brakes, ABS, Haldex controller and the lat accel sensor. Brake switch too.

 

It's quite the ride (mine is the APR tune but it's basically the same). In all honesty, the tune overmatches the haldex drivetrain and upgraded chassis at the edge of the envelope and, putting a tune on and not upgrading the brakes would be a fools errand.

Well done to the OP for the thread. Very interesting (and something I hope to never have to do!).

 

Both brakes and suspension are well worth upgrading, even with the car stock. At this point i have upgraded the brake set up with Akebono pads and ECS Tuning slotted rotors, and also a set of Soloworks S1 coilovers (the old struts started to wear out in front, and this set cost only slightly more than all new OEM parts). The car handles like a totally different car than it ever did before. Never had a issue with the haldex system seeming to be over powered, however.


Side Note:

The car now has 192,XXX miles on it and still running strong! I too hope to never have to do it....again!