Italian boy's conefession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl".
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may
as
well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say Father."
"Was it Teresa Volpe?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, Father, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny
Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave
yourself."
Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and
whispers,

"What'd you get?"

Four months vacation and five good leads."

 

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.
The officer asks the man his name.
"Fred," he replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred," the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the
fellow
a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.
The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The
officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along
with it.
"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me."
"I was born Fred Dingaling.
I know -- a funny last name.
Kids used to tease me all the time.
So I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.
I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and
finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to
school. Dentistry was my dream!
Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred
Dingaling , MD , DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my
assistant and she gave me VD.
So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.
Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD.
Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of
the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.
Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

 

:-) Hey Robert!

 

LOL good joke