Rela

This tidbit I found is probably more fantasy than truth but it's still pretty damn funny.

Enjoy!

* * * * *

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to
take it out on someone! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take
it out on someone you DON'T know!

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had
to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying,
"Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to
Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone
could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She
had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.

After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on
my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered,
I yelled "You're an a**hole!" and hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word "a**hole," and put it in my desk
drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad
day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're an a**hole!" It
would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real
disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the a**hole.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice,
"Hello?"
I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the Telephone Company
and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"
He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and
said, "That's because you're an a**hole!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if
there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.
Just dial 823-4863.

Keep reading this, it gets better!
An old lady at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of the
parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave.
Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of
the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
"Great", I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black BMW
comes flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her
space.

I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the
shopping center as if he didn't even hear me.
I thought to myself, this guy's an a**hole, there sure is a lot of a**holes
in this world.
Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I
wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten
off the phone after calling 823- 4863 and yelling, "You're an a**hole!" (It's
really easy since I have his number on speed dial now!)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW lying on my desk
and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone
answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the
black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is." he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's
parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes,"
"Don, you're an a**hole!" ....And then I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. I must say,
for a while things seemed to be going much better
for me. Now when I had a problem I had two a**holes to call.Then, after
several months of calling the a**holes and hanging up on them, it just wasn't
as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and
came up with a solution:
First, I had my phone dial a**hole #1. A man answered nicely saying,
"Hello?"
I yelled "You're an a**hole!", but I didn't hang up. The a**hole
said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "Make me."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
So I told him, "Don Hansen."
He said, "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black BMW's parked out
front."
A**hole #1 says: " I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying
your prayers."
so I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole!" and I hung up.

Then I called ******* #2.
He answered, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, a**hole!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" " I'll kick your a**."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, a**hole!" And I
hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802
West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got
home.
Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West
34th Street.

After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the
whole thing. Glorious satisfaction! Watching two a**holes kicking the crap
out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news
crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

The story you have just read is true. The names have been changed to protect
the guilty.

CharlieGSanD

thats &%*ing hilarious!

Anand@4Induktion.com

i think i just pissed myself laughing

gobridge

I can't believe it, but I still laughed my rear end off....