Factual jokes......quite scary to believe....
06-01-2006, 04:25 AM
#1
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Factual jokes......quite scary to believe....
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free
to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat
there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided
that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be
true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next
day someone stole it.
Caution ... These people Vote
=======
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that
stuff." She ALSO votes!
==========
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was
open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days
a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
He ALSO votes!
==========
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was
moving"
She ALSO votes!
==========
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car It's designed to cut through
a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk . .
My sister ALSO votes!
==========
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
He ALSO votes!
==========
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's
nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head
is turned.
My friend ALSO votes!
=========
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me,
"has your plane arrived yet? "
SHE ALSO votes!
=========
While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He though about it for some time before
responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces. Yep, he votes too.
And they walk among us, and reproduce
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free
to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat
there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided
that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be
true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next
day someone stole it.
Caution ... These people Vote
=======
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that
stuff." She ALSO votes!
==========
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was
open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days
a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
He ALSO votes!
==========
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was
moving"
She ALSO votes!
==========
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car It's designed to cut through
a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk . .
My sister ALSO votes!
==========
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
He ALSO votes!
==========
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's
nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head
is turned.
My friend ALSO votes!
=========
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me,
"has your plane arrived yet? "
SHE ALSO votes!
=========
While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He though about it for some time before
responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces. Yep, he votes too.
And they walk among us, and reproduce
06-01-2006, 05:29 AM
#2
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I witnessed one of these factual jokes at work not too long ago...
The customer entrance of my workplace has a soda machine that will only take quarters so when anyone needs change for a dollar they have to get it from the girl that works the front counter. So it went like this -
First guy walks up to her and asks for change for his dollar bill. The 2nd guy says "While you're getting him change could you get me change for a dollar too." With a puzzled look on her face she replies "How do I give change for a $1.02?"
First guy walks up to her and asks for change for his dollar bill. The 2nd guy says "While you're getting him change could you get me change for a dollar too." With a puzzled look on her face she replies "How do I give change for a $1.02?"
06-01-2006, 06:20 AM
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Ok... here's a good one I witnessed--->
In an elevator, the elevator dudes are putting on new brail sticker dealies by the numbers, elevator dude #1 turns to elevator dude #1 and says "Damn, we need another 6" Chick in back says "Can't you just turn a 9 upside down?" (Same chick who thought Af Am mens butts were white cuz they are never in the sun... yes... they're both true)
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06-01-2006, 06:46 AM
#9
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How about this... (now) Ex Girlfriend rear-ended my TT
Same piece of trash that was drinking earlier that night, also thought that "Chihuahua" was pronounced "Chi-hoo-a-hoo"
#$%#$% idiot.
no joke.
#$%#$% idiot.
no joke.
