Hey, morning all......Passwords (joke)
12-15-2006, 05:27 AM
#1
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Hey, morning all......Passwords (joke)
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to Enter a password..Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his Wife's' attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in
P...
E...
N..
I...
S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH .***
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in
P...
E...
N..
I...
S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH .***
12-15-2006, 05:47 AM
#3
TGIF Dave! One for this side of the pond...>>
An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife
with endearing terms calling her "Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin," etc.
The couple had been married almost 70 years, and it seemed they were still very much in love.
While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth, he said. I forgot her name about ten years ago."
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife
with endearing terms calling her "Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin," etc.
The couple had been married almost 70 years, and it seemed they were still very much in love.
While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth, he said. I forgot her name about ten years ago."
12-15-2006, 06:18 AM
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...mood ring !....
I bought my wife a mood ring the otherday so i could monitor her moods.
We`ve discovered that when she's in a good mood it turns green,
and when she's in a bad mood it leaves a ****ing big red mark on my forehead.
We`ve discovered that when she's in a good mood it turns green,
and when she's in a bad mood it leaves a ****ing big red mark on my forehead.
12-15-2006, 06:45 AM
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Here's another - Logical Science !!
Two builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant. >> Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker. Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Phil: - 'Scuse me.. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - Oh! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Phil: - Er... mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Phil: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not ********** very often?
Phil: - Me? Never.
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Eric: - Nope.
Phil: - Well then, you're a W#nk#r.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant. >> Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker. Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Phil: - 'Scuse me.. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - Oh! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Phil: - Er... mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Phil: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not ********** very often?
Phil: - Me? Never.
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Eric: - Nope.
Phil: - Well then, you're a W#nk#r.
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