Update...conversation with Audi:
05-12-2001, 08:45 AM
#1
AudiWorld Uber User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 40,289
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Update...conversation with Audi:
NASA Racer: Hello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The aoa does not respond.)
NASA Racer: Hello, Miss?
Aoa: What do you mean "miss"?
NASA Racer: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Aoa: We're closing for lunch.
NASA Racer: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this audi s4 what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Aoa: Oh yes, the, uh, the Imola S4...What's, uh...What's wrong with it?
NASA Racer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. it's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Aoa: No, no, it's uh,...he's resting.
NASA Racer: Look, matey, I know a dead audi s4 when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Aoa: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable car, the Imola S4, isn't, it ay? Beautiful color!
NASA Racer: The color don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Aoa: Nononono, no, no! he's resting!
NASA Racer: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the car) Hello, Mister turbo I've got a lovely fresh M3 for you if you show...
(aoa hits the car)
Aoa: There, he moved!
NASA Racer: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the car!
Aoa: I never!!
NASA Racer: Yes, you did!
Aoa: I never, never did anything...
NASA Racer: (yelling and hitting the car repeatedly) HELLO IMOLA!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes audi s4 out of the garage and thumps its head on the showroom. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
NASA Racer: Now that's what I call a dead audi s4.
Aoa: No, no.....No, he's stunned!
NASA Racer: STUNNED?!?
Aoa: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Imola S4s stun easily.
NASA Racer: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely had enough of this. That audi s4 is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired out following a prolonged race.
Aoa: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the autobahn.
NASA Racer: PINING for the AUTOBAHN?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got him home?
Aoa: The Imola S4 prefers napping on it's back! Remarkable car, id'nit, squire? Lovely color!
NASA Racer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that audi s4 when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting in its garage in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Aoa: Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that car down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its wheels, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
NASA Racer: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this car wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! it's demised!
Aoa: No no! he's pining!
NASA Racer: He is not pinin'! he's passed on! This audi s4 is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! HIs metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-AUDI S4!!
(pause)
Aoa: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the showroom) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of audi s4s.
NASA Racer: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Aoa: I got a slug.
(pause)
NASA Racer: Pray, does it it do 0-60 in 5.5 seconds?
Aoa: uh yes.
NASA Racer: Right...I'll take that then
(The aoa does not respond.)
NASA Racer: Hello, Miss?
Aoa: What do you mean "miss"?
NASA Racer: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Aoa: We're closing for lunch.
NASA Racer: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this audi s4 what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Aoa: Oh yes, the, uh, the Imola S4...What's, uh...What's wrong with it?
NASA Racer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. it's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Aoa: No, no, it's uh,...he's resting.
NASA Racer: Look, matey, I know a dead audi s4 when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Aoa: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable car, the Imola S4, isn't, it ay? Beautiful color!
NASA Racer: The color don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Aoa: Nononono, no, no! he's resting!
NASA Racer: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the car) Hello, Mister turbo I've got a lovely fresh M3 for you if you show...
(aoa hits the car)
Aoa: There, he moved!
NASA Racer: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the car!
Aoa: I never!!
NASA Racer: Yes, you did!
Aoa: I never, never did anything...
NASA Racer: (yelling and hitting the car repeatedly) HELLO IMOLA!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes audi s4 out of the garage and thumps its head on the showroom. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
NASA Racer: Now that's what I call a dead audi s4.
Aoa: No, no.....No, he's stunned!
NASA Racer: STUNNED?!?
Aoa: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Imola S4s stun easily.
NASA Racer: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely had enough of this. That audi s4 is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired out following a prolonged race.
Aoa: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the autobahn.
NASA Racer: PINING for the AUTOBAHN?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got him home?
Aoa: The Imola S4 prefers napping on it's back! Remarkable car, id'nit, squire? Lovely color!
NASA Racer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that audi s4 when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting in its garage in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Aoa: Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that car down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its wheels, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
NASA Racer: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this car wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! it's demised!
Aoa: No no! he's pining!
NASA Racer: He is not pinin'! he's passed on! This audi s4 is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! HIs metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-AUDI S4!!
(pause)
Aoa: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the showroom) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of audi s4s.
NASA Racer: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Aoa: I got a slug.
(pause)
NASA Racer: Pray, does it it do 0-60 in 5.5 seconds?
Aoa: uh yes.
NASA Racer: Right...I'll take that then
05-12-2001, 09:31 AM
#7
AudiWorld Uber User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 40,289
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The reason I had that open...
is my nephew (who is 12) had a "talent show" coming up at school. Well the last "talent" show consisted of a bunch of kids lip synching to "in sync" and doing stupid dance routines.
I was mortified...nobody even bored us with a piano recital...MAN I miss the days when true creativity was rewarded.
Anyway...I downloaded the skit, edited it slightly (can't have them saying "bleeding" all the time) Afterwards, I did a find/change and voilå...NASA’s S4 version.
Hope I can convince him to do it...it would be HILARIOUS!
I was mortified...nobody even bored us with a piano recital...MAN I miss the days when true creativity was rewarded.
Anyway...I downloaded the skit, edited it slightly (can't have them saying "bleeding" all the time) Afterwards, I did a find/change and voilå...NASA’s S4 version.
Hope I can convince him to do it...it would be HILARIOUS!
Trending Topics
05-12-2001, 09:37 AM
#8
AudiWorld Uber User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 40,289
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Here's the original...
<ul><li><a href="http://www.graphicszone.net/monty_python/monty/python/series1/parrot.htm">http://www.graphicszone.net/monty_python/monty/python/series1/parrot.htm</a</li></ul>
05-12-2001, 09:41 AM
#9
AudiWorld Super User
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,573
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I think it would be hilarious too... something completely different for a new generation...
I am sure a new generation could appreciate dry, witty English/UK humor.
You know what show I just love, Falty Towers. One of my favorites! I've got a bunch of these on tape. I think I will have to try and locate some of the episodes I do not have.
You know what show I just love, Falty Towers. One of my favorites! I've got a bunch of these on tape. I think I will have to try and locate some of the episodes I do not have.
05-12-2001, 09:44 AM
#10
AudiWorld Uber User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 40,289
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
oh yea...THAT is a classic...
did you know the actress who played "Polly" was actually his wife? They used to spend two weeks writing an episode (twice as long as is customary) and eventually the strain ruined their marriage.
THOSE shows are an amazing piece of work...Cleese at his best.
THOSE shows are an amazing piece of work...Cleese at his best.