Kriminal

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie.

When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.

I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get home.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she was only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house. It does annoy me vacuuming when I'm trying to watch match of the day but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other eh?


*EDITOR'S NOTE*
Ron died suddenly last week. He was found with a 20-inch Stanley screwdriver rammed up his ar$e with only 2 inches showing.

His wife Julie was arrested and put on trial.

The all-woman jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.

Kriminal

"True" Friendship

None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,

But never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces here -

Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against

The sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well

Again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ***.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;

"because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants,

everyone can see it,

But only you can feel the true warmth.

Kriminal

Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother.
"Frank Brown showed me his ***** today!"

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut"

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small was it?"

Sally replied, "No...salty!"